Where In The World Is Evan?

After somehow managing to get to Kunming in time for my international departure I arrived in Vientiane, the capital of the Laos PDR, a delirious and emotional mess. After changing some money at that airport I got a taxi into town and checked into the cheapest hostel in the Lonely Planet.

I’d been warned by several people that Vientiane was a boring place, but what I wasn’t prepared for was the crappiest capital city in the world. That’s not to say that Vientiane is polluted or crime riddled, but rather that there’s absolutely nothing at all to do or see.

When you walk around it seems as if not a single building in the city rises over three stories. Businesses open late and close early, with many also closing for a long lunch break. This makes the pace of life delightfully slow, however, it gets to be incredibly boring after a couple of days.

I’d not have stayed as long as I did, however, it took me five days of pot smoking and bed rest to recover from my sleep deprivation.

As soon as I felt up to travelling again I was on a bus, heading north, to Van Vieng…

In an earlier post I said I couldn’t imagine having a wilder week in Chengdu without someone’s death… the past week has shown me that my body is capable of anything my imagination can throw at it.

The realisation of an intense and prolonged drug bender is not an easy task. Admittedly any fool can go out and recklessly take a whole bunch of drugs, however, the trick to a sustainable bender lies in moderation, variety, and a knowledge of how your poisons interact. If you persist in the consumption of just one drug then you will soon find yourself either burnt out or requiring medical attention.

This week was a long time coming. Indeed, the only reason I’d come back to Chengdu was so I could spend one last week with my friends before J and I left China, to return to our respective homes. As such I’d made a concerted effort to ensure we were well and truly stocked.

Have a plan and stick to it.
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After boarding the afternoon train to Kunming I collapsed into a deep slumber–not surprising considering I’d been up all night. When I awoke I found it was the middle of the night and everyone else on the train was asleep. Having come down from all the pot and ecstasy I also found myself desperately horny. After waking Betty she quite readily joined me on my hard-sleeper top bunk for a quickie, with 58 other Chinese people asleep in the carriage!

Towards the end things started to get a little noisy, however, the Chinese shy away from any form of direct confrontation, so anyone who was woken by our activities politely made no indication.

We spent our first day in Kunming doing fairly mundane things, like organising my visa and flight ticket to Laos, as there seemed little to do in the city–in actuality we spent a lot of time being indiscreet in our dormitory.
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If it’s possible to have a wilder week in Chengdu then I can hardly imagine what it would involve… probably someone’s death.

Once again I got fucked by the train system, and ended up arriving in Chengdu at 4 am on Saturday morning, after spending 53 hours on the train. Unbeknownst to me, however, a great party was just getting better at that very moment at a friend’s apartment across town.

I, however, had more pressing concerns to deal with. After getting stuck in Urumqi for three days, and spending three nights on the train, my tourist visa had expired. The problem being that the PSB isn’t open on the weekend to process a renewal. Thankfully you can’t live in China as long as I have and not learn how to deal with petty bureaucracy. After speaking to a succession of six different officials I finally managed to dodge the 1,000 yuan fine!
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